Today I had lunch with one of my oldest friends. It is crazy that we have been friends for 20 years! Hard to believe we are old enough to say that, but it is true. The important thing about our lunch date was that she confessed to be going through the exact same situation as I am and has turned to my blog as a reference point for what to expect from a complicated love triangle. Listening to her talk, it felt as though my thoughts were coming from her mouth. It was almost hard to believe that we had been feeling the same feelings, hiding the same conversations, feeling giddy at every message, guilty at the pain we are unintentionally inflicting on our significant others. The worst part is that I could see it on her, the anxiety coming through her. We both looked presentable yet tired, haggard really from the stress. We both said at one point we just wanted to throw in the towel, we just wanted to say fuck it and be alone because that would be better than making the choice! I tried to offer as much advice as I could (she's living with him-yikes) but as it states in the tagline of this blog, I am in no position to give relationship advice. There has to be a freaking support group for women going through this! If not, I should start one. The Love-Triangle Support Group starts now, so far the members are myself and my friend, anyone else out there?
After talking to Alejandro last night on Skype, I felt like I was on cloud 9 and I couldn't sleep even though I was exhausted. I just tossed and turned and smiled. I can't help it! I know I'm supposed to take the time to figure things out without putting him into the mix but it is impossible, I can't help but picture a future with him and it seems...amazing. Oh except when he suggested that I may actually enjoy the love-triangle. The nerve! My friend can now back me up and explain that it is not in any way enjoyable, it is pure hell! I almost freaked out on him for that, and if he wasn't so cute, I would have. I feel so girly and childish in the way I feel about him, the very mention of his name sends me into a fit of smiles.
Things have started to become clearer. I really feel as though the power to obtain happiness is in my hands and I just have to let it happen.
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