Storms and Rainbows

All of the sudden I just felt this wave of excitement pass through me and I just had to tell you about it (even though I have so much stuff to do today). Sometimes when you feel this good you just have to allow yourself to feel thankful because it doesn't come along everyday.

Things I'm currently enthused about:

1. Going back to Chicago tomorrow. Like any relationship, we have our ups and downs but in the end Chicago and I understand each other, because God knows, I can be hot and cold too ;)

2. Living with my wonderful friend again, she is one of the few people out there in the world who actually get me...really get me...all the good stuff and definitely all the bad stuff too.

3. Having great friends in general. One consequence of living in different places every few months is that you don't really have a base or a group of friends who hang out all the time. All my friends are spread out all over the world. They are so supportive though, all of them. I  wish I could all my favorite people and put them all in one amazing place where we all could live and be ridiculously close and happy.

4. Seeing Alejandro again. Lately it has gotten to the point that when I go to sleep at night, I'm thinking about him and when I wake up, I am thinking about him. At first that really scared me but now I'm letting go of the fear and starting to just trust him...and myself. I just hope Cupid knows what he's doing this time.
Also I love that he pushes me to speak Spanish because that is definitely a sore spot for me. When a person doesn't speak English, I have no problem speaking Spanish. When someone speaks both (very well) I feel like a child and I just want to go mute. I clam up and get nervous and each word feels like I'm passing a kidney stone. It was similiar in German but I took more liberties with German because no one expected me to speak it. They were surprised I could say anything at all where in Mexico I feel like I have gringa has a mexican mother tattooed across my forehead.

6. Getting into the Celta class. I finally feel like I am on the right track and that I will be able to get a good job after this and not have a panic attack each time I see my bank account receipt.

7. My Family. They are also all over but I feel like they are all doing well and they have been supporting me through the last few hard years and hard last months as well.

Wow, I think this feeling is called...happiness! Maybe it is actually true, if you hang in there long enough, there will be sun after a storm...or sometimes...even a rainbow :)

I don't know all of you reading out there in cyber space and I just hope, if any of you are going through a hard time, that this brings you some comfort in knowing that even though things might feel like a perpetual shit storm, eventually they do get better. I hope I am not speaking prematurely about that and that my next post is neither desperate nor psychotic.