Dreams

Remember when I said I hoped my next post was neither desperate nor pyschotic and how I felt happy and all that stuff??

Ugh.

Last night I had a dream about Julian and I. It was cold and we were walking around somewhere in snowy Europe. We were in a cathedral at one point and he was holding me and I felt safe and loved and then sad. I woke up with tears in my eyes and a pain in my chest. I miss feeling like that, loved, taken care of, secure.

Last night I was talking to my friend about breaking up with Julian and she is in a similar situation.

My friend: How are you...okay?

Me: I don't know.

Apparently I'm not okay....

I always feel like dreams mean something. What does that mean? I also had a dream about like 100 little foxes were trotting in a line through the snow in some kind of migratory ritual the other day but that was actually a good dream. I woke up feeling happy, remembering those little foxes. Now, I just feel like shit.