The Mother: We are leaving early in the morning, why are you meeting some guy you don't know?
Me: I don't know, its just coffee...
The Mother: You better be back in one hour...
AH!! This is why I need to get out. As much as I don't like to admit this...I'm approaching 30...I don't need anyone telling me what to do!
Alejandro walked in the door a ball of nervous energy cleverly masked by an aura of charm.
Alejandro: You must think I'm very insistent...
The Mother: No (she said smiling)
He sits down after introducing himself and jokes with my mom and aunt. I stay silent. For some reason I begin to feel my stomach twisting into knots.
Alejandro: I feel like I'm in high school!
Everyone.proceeds.to.giggle....
WTF is happening? Why is my mom suddenly all charmed...this does NOT happen.
Alejandro: I'll have her home around 3AM.
More chuckles from the mother...seriously what is going on?
Soon we are in his Volkswagen discussing the mortification of being almost 30 and having the mother regulate an arbitrary coffee date.
Date? Did I just write date? I'm NOT having a date, I'm engaged. This is NOT a date, it is..coffee. German practice.That's it.
Alejandro: I understand, it's okay, I know how Mexican mothers are...I get it.
He gets it? Constantly with Julian I am having to explain for my mother, why she doesn't let us sleep in the same bed even though we are engaged, why she is so religious, why she is so controlling and overbearing. It is a constant argument over that because Germans are the opposite. They sleep at each other's boyfriends and girlfriends houses in high school. Even his grandparents don't give a shit. Culturally, he just can't comprehend and this year more than ever, he seems to have come to a standstill with me over my mother's overbearing tendencies. In March, the last time he was here, she was being a psycho, yeah, she really was, and he could not deal with it. I felt sick the entire time because for the first time, they really didn't get along. Neither of them cared how much it affected me either, the person they supposedly love.
Julian: What do you expect? That I'm going to kiss your mom's ass and walk on eggshells forever? That is not right. What about me, are you ever going to stand up for me?
Me: You don't get it. In Mexico, it is just kind of expected that you kiss your girlfriend's mother's ass! That is how it is!
Julian: Well it isn't like that here and I don't really think it is like that in the US as much as you say.
Why am I comparing them???? Maybe it is just nice to know that out there in the world, there are guys who "get it" with Mexican mothers and well, that's nice. It doesn't matter anyway. Back to coffee.
We take a seat outside and words began to pour out like the fluidity of wine, romantically and intelligently cascading from the bottles of our nervous minds into the small space between us. I tell him about writing and he tells me about having family in Spain. We talk about various things for a bit before he stares at me with crystallizing blue eyes for inappropriate amounts of time without blinking. I feel myself blushing. He says that he blushes easily and is actually truly shy and for some reason I don't believe him.
Alejandro: You'll see, you're going to end up with me.
There is a hint of a grin in the corner of his mouth.
I laugh trying to release some nervous energy.
When the guys at the wedding said things like that, my eyes rolled with irritation. Now, I'm laughing nervously, why does it sound better when he says it?
Still, does he think I'm that naive? Oh Latinos...
Alejandro: We will have three children, the first will be so cute, you'll want another, and the third, maybe an accident...
Me: Three kids? Wow, you have it all planned out.
Alejandro: If you are with me, you'll live like a queen...
As he says this his eyes shine like the blue part of a flame.
Me: I'm engaged, remember?
I'm surprised it took me that long to bring it up, I guess my credibility has gone down since we kissed.
Alejandro: Yes but you'll go there, you'll see Juli and you'll realize you aren't meant to be, and you'll return to be with me in Mexico.
Wow, talk about cocky, or confident, or delusional... and he's given Julian a nickname?
I laugh again, this time less hard. I laugh with my mouth, but not with my eyes. He keeps talking about my eyes. I feel my insides twisting.
Why did I feel like a victim of unwanted hypnosis? It feels like an episode of True Blood. Yet there is something in my gut, something new and uncharted, it is beginning to unhinge me. He should not be saying this stuff! Suddenly I feel slightly angry. Does he have any idea how confused I already am about my relationship? He has no right putting these thoughts in my head, it isn't the same for him, he's single, I'm sure he uses this line on all his little conquests. Fucking Latinos. Of course since we kissed that makes it worse. Contrary to what you all may think, Alejandro is the only guy I've kissed in five years besides Julian.
Me: You are quite confident.
He smiles.
We drive back to my aunts house and say goodbye. He tells me I'm young and I feel irritated, another word for naive...I'm never going to talk to him again...I think to myself...secretly hoping I do.
Alejandro: We have to stay in contact or our plan won't work.
Wow he's trying pretty hard to sleep with a girl that he may never see again.
Me: Okay, we'll stay in contact.
We are facebook friends, I guess.
The next day, I'm reeling. Long waits in bus stations and airports do nothing but enable my insane fantasies about this crazy Mexican/Spaniard and his hypnotizing blue eyes.
I call my sister. Who loves Julian. NOT A GOOD IDEA.
This is the gist of what she said:
The Sister: You sound infatuated! Are you insane? I'm sure he says that to all the girls, he's LATINO! You are ENGAGED! Forget about him!
I hang up the phone in the Dallas airport, feeling crestfallen. She's probably right. I have to ignore this intense feeling in my stomach...whatever it may be.
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