Land of Volcanoes, Land of Revelations

He llegado 

Puebla is wonderful, but slightly different from what I remember. Well, a lot different. As I mentioned, it has been 7 years since I've been here and a lot has changed. For my mother, it is a complete and total shock. When she moved away, there were about 500,000 inhabitants and that has turned into almost 6 million. I have finally realized after 3 long days of being here, that she will never move back. I thought after my dad passed away that there might be some part of her that longs for her country, but after seeing her in this environment, I HIGHLY doubt that. Be it the absence of people following traffic laws, the pollution, the irritation that lingers between her and her sister, or a combination...I realize she is not going to move back.

There is definitely some kind of power struggle that has developed between her sister and her. You have sister A who is slightly uptight, religious, clean, organized, and then sister B who is slightly a hippie, agnostic, disorganized, and politically impassioned. Both have issues with money, with their pasts, with each other. There is just this weird dynamic between them (that has apparently always existed) that I just don't understand. It seems as if they cannot let each other talk, be right about anything, or allow each other to have different opinions...it makes me appreciate my sister very much...and sometimes I wish she was here to bear the load of their bickering with me.

I am a little disheartened because I think I idealized Puebla a little bit. In my head I made it out to be this Mexican Mayberry and the truth is that it is much more polluted than I imagined (my skin is protesting the air with breakouts), the public transportation is apparently not so safe, and the traffic is a daily nightmare. I imagined that one day we would all live here happily ever after, all of us, with children and houses, (or apartments) and family dinners. The truth is that no, that will probably not happen. So I continue on my search for where I belong.

As far as speaking Spanish, my handicap, I have actually come a long way. I don't know what it is but now I am not afraid to speak, well still a little afraid but I think God took pity on me and allowed me to allow myself to make my grammatical mistakes and not care as much. 

On the bright side of things, Puebla is a gastronomical paradise! I could live on this food FOREVER. Mmmm, never in my wildest dreams have I enjoyed food this much. I remember living in Germany, begging for Mexican food, only to stumble upon a restaurant where they put mint in the Margaritas...WTF?