My arm hurts

I fell asleep drunk on my arm last night, when I woke up, it felt paralyzed... now it kind of hurts. Meh..

Happy Birthday to Alejandro! Today is his birthday, I'm pretty sure he's nursing a hangover today judging from how drunk I heard him sounding last night.

Last night I went to a party with my roommates and my friend's boyfriend (who is friends with Julian) confronted me about Alejandro. He basically told me that Julian had written to him to ask him if I was dating other people. My first thought was, omg, is he going to tell Julian about Alejandro?

"Are you going to tell him?" I said with my head down.

"No, I mean at least not right now, in the future I will probably have to though."

"I know," I said, eyes still down. "I just don't want him to think that I cheated on him, or that Alejandro was the reason I broke up with him." I said holding back tears. "I don't want to hurt him more. I'm hurting too, I still love him, just so you know. I'm not this cold, heartless person. There were a lot of issues for months that you didn't know about."

"I'm not saying that. I don't think that about you."

We ended the conversation by me saying if I felt like I knew for sure that I would never be with Julian ever again, I would be the one to set things straight, I don't want him to find out through someone else, it would be very painful.

I had another dream about Julian last night. I don't know what is going on inside me that is causing me to dream about him so much. I was walking around in London with some friends and suddenly he called. He called me by the nickname he used to call me. He sounded normal, fine. He wanted to hang out with all of us in London, I didn't know if it was a good idea or not. I said yes, that he could come. He came and we acted like a couple again even though we knew things were not fine between us.

I wish someone could tell me what all these dreams mean. It is starting to haunt me and it is causing me to start my days with anxiety and sadness instead of positivity.