Am I wearing a big sign on my forehead that says please cheat on your wife with me? No. I'm not. So why the hell am I only attracting married men with children? I know I have a flirty personality but in no way am I implying that we should have sex. Allow me to explain.
Tonight I went to a Thanksgiving celebration with a friend that was held by his friend's parents in a big, beautiful, amazing condo in Lakeview. They both travel a lot and there was art on the walls from all over the world and long red velvet curtains and birds in cages that were constantly tweeting. Anyway, there were about 15 people there and some of those people were Germans. At first, when I found out Germans were coming I was super enthused. German practice? Yes, please. One German was about 50 with his son who was about 21 and the other was 39. They were involved with the German Christmas market downtown and they come to Chicago only for the holidays. The 39 year old guy was the boss of my friend's friend and that is why they were invited. I ended up sitting next to this guy at the dinner table and we talked for a long time, well, everyone talked, it wasn't just him and I talking. It was a group conversation. He told me I should come to the Christmas market and they would give me free Glühwein. He suggested we exchange numbers so I could find them when I got down there. I thought absolutely nothing of this because he had mentioned he was married to a Russian woman and that he had two children.
"That sounds great!" I said happily.
I gave him my number thinking only of German practice and Glühwein. Also, he said it in front of everyone, even the parents, so I assumed there was nothing strange about it.
So then, as time wore on, I caught him staring at me from time to time. At first I thought, "you're drunk, he's not staring at you."
But then, as the alcohol started wearing off, and we all moved into the living room, I realized that in fact, he was actually staring at me hardcore. I was sitting at the far end of the room in the corner by myself. It was the only chair in that part of the room and he was sitting on this giant couch with everyone else. Every moment I looked up, his eyes were locked on me.
We all left at the same time, my friend, him, his friend and son, and me. We all walked to the train together and he spoke to me in German. At first we talked about Germany and things of that nature and then he turned to me and said:
German: "You are very pretty."
Me: "Thank you."
German: "How old are you?"
Me: "27, how old are you?"
German: "39...that is old, isn't it?"
Me: "It isn't that old, my boyfriend is 35."
German: "Oh, so you like older men?"
Me: "My ex-fiance was only 25."
German: "So you switched to older guys?"
Me: "I don't know. How old is your WIFE?"
German: "She's 37. Marriage is hard."
OMG if one more fucking married guy starts to unload their marital problems on me thinking they are going to get me in the sack I'm going to scream!!!
Me: "So I've heard."
German: "So does your boyfriend live here?"
Me: "No."
German: "So you have no boyfriend in Chicago then?"
Me: "No."
German: (Smiles wryly)
Suddenly the train conductor announces that the next three stops will be skipped.
Me: "Shit! I am going to have to transfer to the blue line and then take the bus."
German: "You can stay at my place, it is very big and there is a beautiful view...so you don't have to wait for the bus, it isn't safe for a girl in high heels to wait for a bus late at night."
Me: "I will take my chances."
German: "Well you could come up just for a drink then."
Me: "I better go home."
Suddenly it is their stop and he gets up.
German: "I'll call you about the Christmas market," he says with his wry smile.
Shit. I forgot. He has my number.
He gets off the train and waits until my train pulls away before walking.
You know what the weirdest part about all of this is? He reminded me very much of Julian's father.
Okay so if that is not bad enough, I am waiting for the other train when two guys come stand close beside me.
GUY 1: See, this is the kind of girl you should date.
GUY 2: (chuckles)
GUY 1: You need to ask her out!
GUY 2: Um, she can hear you.
ME: Yeah, I can, because you guys are standing right next to me talking super loud.
GUY 1: My friend is a great guy, he just moved here from California. He is just lonely and he wants to meet a nice girl. I'll leave you two alone.
GUY 2: Do you like house music?
Me: Yeah, I guess so.
GUY 2: I'm a DJ.
Me: Cool.
GUY 2: BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH this is too boring to even put in here, to sum it up it was boring as shit and I could barely pay attention to what he was saying because I was too distracted by his poorly grown mustache to care.
Me: Cool..
GUY 2: So can I take you to a concert sometime?
Me: Oh, I have a boyfriend.
GUY 2: Oh...well do you really like him?
Me: Yeah.
GUY 2: Oh, I see. Well it was nice to meet you.
So....no harm no foul, not pushy or anything, no big deal.
The big deal came later as I was waiting for the bus. A cab driver pulled up and asked me if I needed a ride. CLEARLY I WAS WAITING AT THE BUS STOP FOR A BUS.
Me: "No thanks"
Cabbie: "Are you sure?"
Me: "Yup."
Cabbie: "Are you Puerto Rican?"
Me: "No."
Cabbie: "You look like it."
Me: "I get that a lot."
Traffic starts moving and he drives away. Suddenly after 2 minutes, he is back in the same spot.
Cabbie: "So, are you latina?"
Me: "Yeah."
Cabbie: "I'm Puerto Rican."
Me: "Cool."
Cabbie: "Where are you from?"
Me: "Here."
Cabbie: "Are you sure you don't need a ride?"
Me: "I'm fine, thanks."
Cabbie: "I'll give you a ride for free."
Whoa now, something is up here, what cab driver offers a free ride?
Me: "I'm right off the bus line, I'm fine."
Cabbie: "Come on, where do you live?"
Fuck, please let the bus come.
Me: "Not too far, I'm fine with the bus, really, thanks though."
Cabbie: "Cute girl like you shouldn't be waiting here alone."
Me: (Just give an awkward smile)
Cabbie: "So how about that ride?"
Me: "Nah, I'm cool thanks though."
Cabbie: "I don't bite."
Me: (laughs uncomfortably)
Cabbie: "Unless you want me to..."
THANK GOD AT THAT SECOND THE BUS PULLED UP.
WHEW!
Honestly sometimes I hate being a woman. I feel like if I wear makeup and high heels I'm just seen as this walking target. I was once attacked so I usually don't walk alone at night but the night I was attacked it was about 4 in the morning and since it was only 11ish, I thought I was okay. Apparently not. I need to have a conversation with a decent guy NOW so that my faith in men can be restored....blah. At least the majority of the night was fun and the food delish.
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